Bombay grouse: The House of Tata carried off a perfect surgical strike
Raj Thackeray did it to Karan Johar, and now Cyrus Mistry is singing, ‘Ai dil hai mushkil/ Jeena yahaan. /Mujhey hataya, no-one bachaya /Yeh hai Bombay House, meri jaan.’
Jimmy Gymkhanawala looked as if he’d been struck by a dumbbell. Homi Homeopath looked as queasy as Nux vomica. The two friends couldn’t believe the lightning strike that had fired Cyrus Mistry and set Dadar Parsi Colony on fire. It was even worse for the legendary Bawa image than the warring Trustees of the Bombay Parsi Punchayet acting like gulley taporis.
‘Saala Jimmy, satyanaas! What will people think about us if apro Ratan summarily sacks a chairman like some jhadoo-pota bai?’ said Homi. His friend shot back, ‘Cyrus-virus jahannam ma jayey. What will happen to our Tata Shares? Saala, tu su bak-bak karechh?’
Soli Solicitor poked his hooked nose into the conversation as soon as he heard ‘su’. ‘Toba, toba! I hope the now-ex-Chairman won’t sue the former Chairman who is now interim-Chairman. It’s like apro Charles suing apri Rani.’
Homi-Jimmy pounced on him, ‘Yes, but the board also should not have simply divorced him with a single “Talaq”. We Parsis at least have a code of civil behaviour.’
The three Bawas lapsed into corny humour. Snatches from the conversation:
Jaguar Ratan has turned Cyrus into a Nono.
Boss, he sold off Ratan’s global steel deals, and now he only is scrap.
Haan, I hear the sacking met with a ‘Corus’ of approval.
Naturally, no? Losses and ethics issues made him into Cyrus the Grate.
Ratan-seth had a gem of a strategy. He’d increased the board from six to nine, all on his side. So maybe it was a case of Venu Vidi Vici.
Ha-ha, and Amit of Bain Capital became Mistry’s bane.
Cyrus, 48, had been handheld by father-figure Ratan. Ai su thayu, saala, the lofty House of Tata is looking like some lowly UP politics. Netaji boots out beta-ji.
Alec Smart said: “A book has moved from the Mystery shelf to the History shelf.”